


Cruise Of A Lifetime

by WildTamer



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Characters to be added, Cruise Ships, Everybody Lives, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, literally just fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildTamer/pseuds/WildTamer
Summary: For once in his life, Perrin "Perry" Fletcher actually gets a vacation.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus, Professor Mystery/Peter the Panda (Phineas and Ferb)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Cruise Of A Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this is 100% fluff and explaining backstories, nobody dies, there's little to no angst, it's just a good ol' cruise ship fic.

Perry groaned as he awoke to the sound of an unnecessarily loud alarm, turning over to grope the nightstand blindly until he slammed his fist onto the alarm, flinching at the audible crack of the plastic casing.

“Agent P, Agent P!” Monogram insisted from his wristwatch, what does he want? Does he even sleep? The world may never know as Perry put on the watch and rubbed his eyes blearily, giving his boss a tiredly questioning expression.  
“Sorry to wake you up so early, but we have good news.” The Major apologised, glancing at presumably Carl off-screen 

“There will be an Agent Cruise at 10am, sharp. You can bring your villain with you if you please, up to 3 people, as we’re aware some of the villains have children they cannot leave behind.” Perry immediately perked up at the mention of a cruise, then even more at the mention of up to three plus-ones. He started doing mental math, Heinz, Vanessa and Norm, of course!  
“A-and there will be no mission to those on the cruise, Just a relaxing week of free entertainment and all you can eat buffets.” Carl piped up, coming into view of the camera he typically operated.

“The interns will also be coming with you, as, even with their lack of pay, their still employees and legally require a holiday.” Monobrow added, Carl grinning beside him

“(Paid?)” Perry signed, not particularly worried about not getting paid, as his family was more than enough covered in finances, but he was interested nonetheless.  
Monogram looked to Carl, clearly not understanding sign, “Are the agents getting paid time-off, sir?” The young intern repeated

“Don’t worry, you will be paid a week’s work for this, and all expenses are paid for in advance for the vacation.” His boss explained, “Oh and we’ve already sent a pamphlet to your family saying you’ve been selected for a free cruise, so a cover isn’t necessary.”

Wow, so a full week of pay, on a cruise, with his nemesis and children, not having to worry about a mission or his family? Is he dreaming? Did he die and go to heaven?  
“So Pack your bags, invite your nemesis and head to the location Carl will be sending you once this call is over. Monogram, out.” 

And just like that, Perry was left sitting in his bed feeling a mixture of shock and joy, staring off into space until a text message snapped him out of it.

{Carl, Today at 6:12 AM  
Here’s the coordinates, Agent P}

Attached to the text were in-fact the coordinates on google maps, a nice area not far from the outskirts of Danville. Good, he didn’t want to drive too far.  
Not even a few seconds later, Carl followed up with a second text:  
{Carl, Today at 6:12 AM  
Oh and i suggest using your actual car, the hoverjet is getting upgraded tonight.}

Perry sighed, he always hated new upgrades, it took ages to get used to them. Or maybe that was just him being too used to the norm, heh Norm.  
He shook himself internally, chuckling at his own pun before tiredly getting out of bed and grabbing some clothes. 

He really should’ve asked about the dress code.

He sighed and grabbed his phone, shooting Carl a quick text  
{Agent P, Today at 6:13 AM  
Dresscode? Forgot to ask, wouldn’t wanna show up overdressed.} 

While he waited for a response, Perry sifted through his wardrobe, only just realising how bright and weirdly colourful his outfits are, mostly just a lot of teal, actually.  
He takes mental note to buy some less-painfully colourful clothes when he gets back from this cruise.

He checks his phone again impatiently: Casual. Good, he really didn’t want to wear his OWCA uniform for a week straight. The last time he did that, well, let’s just say he regrets taking that mission.

“Perry, breakfast!” Linda called from downstairs, Perry jumped and nearly dropped his phone, but called back after clearing his throat “Coming!”

He ran downstairs, not even changed out of his pajama’s, which were teal with a pun on it: “AH! The Element Of Surprise” Perry always appreciated science jokes, they were his favourite, next to ridiculous unexplainable nonsense memes Ferb sends him throughout the day.

“Uncle Perry!” Phineas ran up to him and hugged his stomach, half climbing up him, Perry chuckled “Hey kiddo, got any plans for today?”   
Phineas immediately started rambling about the plan him and his brother were working on today, which Perry only paid half-attention to as he took a bite of Linda’s special summer pancakes. 

“A cruise, huh?” Candace spoke up beside him, eating a bowl of cereal, Perry paused as he ate, swallowing before speaking “Yup, a whole week. Which means no calling me to bust the boys.” Candace groaned “Oh come on! I hardly ever call you when the boys make something! You’re usually out all day anyway!”

Perry chuckled “That’s the point, Kiddo. That’s the point.” He grinned as he continued eating his fluffy heaven on a plate.

After he finished, Lawrence patted him on the shoulder “You should go get ready, the pamphlet says you leave at 10.” He mentioned, gesturing to the pamphlet presumably in the living room.

Perry nodded and got up, ruffling both of his nephew’s hair before treating back to his room to pack  
It took about 20 minutes, getting all his stuff. He also stashed his fedora and uniform in his bag, just in case he needed it, which he probably didn’t, but he knew to trust his gut.

After a quick shower and outfit change, he carried his suitcase and bag downstairs. “Have fun, Perry, try not to get into too much trouble” Linda advised him after her hug, “Get some pictures of the sea if you can!” Phineas requested cheerfully, the little ray of sunshine, “Don’t fall off the ship,” Lawrence jokingly advised, putting an arm around Perry.

Finally, Candace passed him his necklace, attached to it was a little platypus-pawprint shaped locket with a picture of his nephews as babies, and one of himself. He still hated that picture, but his unce insisted he looked fine in it, so he kept it.  
“Come back safe, okay?” She requested, hugging just a bit longer than everyone else “Alright, I’ll try.” Perry patted her back and let her step away, kneeling down to hug Ferb, who looked a bit upset

“You’ll come back, right?” Ferb asked in a broken voice, Perry sighed in memory of his mother, “I promise, kid, I’ll always come back.”

The boy nodded and hugged his uncle, sighing before letting go and standing just a little behind his younger brother

“Don’t blow the house up while I’m gone.” Perry jokingly remarked, making his boys giggle as he waved goodbye and shut the door, tossing his suitcase and bag into the trunk before strapping himself in and starting the engine, taking a few seconds to look back at the house before driving off towards Evil Inc.


End file.
